If you don't like it leave or....

While I do agree that there comes a time when we all must make very grown up decisions regarding our futures, it often doesn't come easy.

Haven't we all had to do something we didn't like?

Who actually enjoyed grade school? Kids are mean, teachers tell you what to read and write about, and when you got home, you had more school work to complete, chores, possibly a paper route, dinner with your family (who always wanted to know what you had done in school) and you were expected to be in bed by 9:30 pm. Who would like that? I didn't, and yet I couldn't leave, because it would be illegal.

A lot of expats face the same sort of challenges when living here. Other expats aren't always as welcoming, communication with locals can seem confusing and a little scary, your new job comes with different or no policies that you were used to, you have new rules and laws that you aren't used to or possibly not aware of, there are cultural barriers at every turn and who hasn't taken a loan to buy a car, set up their flat and/or pay their 6 or 12 months of rent?

I know that I have come across all these things, and it has made for an interesting challenge.

I'm not a fan of the saying if you don't like it, leave because there are almost always circumstances that prevent that. Work contracts, bank loans, the investment of moving out here, lack of opportunities elsewhere...we all have reasons to stay.

I'm not saying that people don't love living here, there are lots of reasons to, but some days it's a lot harder to see those reasons.

Anyone remember my old job? I'm sure if you've popped in and out of my blog over the past year you will remember it as vividly as I do!

Many people offered me the advice of if you don't like it, just quit.

Maybe I seemed to be a glutton for punishment or maybe it was the lenghty list of blog topics staring #3 (shudder, SHUDDER!) but I chose to stay.

Staying with that job meant financial independance from Cush, getting out of the house everyday, something productive (somewhat) to do, it gave me a sense of importance, exercised my brain and I met a few people from other companies in town that I still see out and about.

But yeah, I liked to whine about it.

So what do you do when in an expat post or living in another country under whatever circumstances and you find yourself less then happy about it?

It's not easy but sometimes you have to make the most of things. Go out, meet people, do stuff.

Join a club, get involved in sports, do coffee mornings, or a dinner club, join a camping group, get involved in SOMETHING, start a blog even. All these things have contributed to me being a happier person (for me anyway, I can't speak for anyone else).

I think the trick is to identify what you don't like and change it.

For the longest time I had trouble making friends, I gained weight and felt really shitty about myself which didn't help with making friends because I wouldn't have wanted to be my own friend at that point. Who wants to be friends with a moper?

(Cush finds it hard to live here because he has a sex in public places fetish...just kidding!)

So I changed my circumstances, my self esteem went up, my confidence went up and now I have friends. That makes life a lot easier.

I think some locals and even some expats, who have a lot of friends and family around them don't especially realize how lonely it can be to be living in another country.

It's really hard. It's tough being alone, it's tough just knowing your spouse, or your parents, and it's tough meeting people, really it is.

Most of us actively made the decision to come here, myself included....I just thought it would be different, easier to integrate.

Maybe I was naive, can I blame that on only being 25 when I moved here?

Either way, if you don't like it here, and if you CAN'T leave, change what you can, pay off your debts, cut your losses and move on.

There are clearly bigger and better things waiting for you somewhere out there, you just need to enable yourself to make the changes necessary.

(can you tell I'm really big on debt/loan repayment? Here's why: one day you might get a fantastic job offer in Qatar or Abu Dhabi but if you skip out on a loan in the GCC you will not be able to work in any other GCC country as far as I'm told anyway)

Best of luck!